First things first: the Giant. The last I spoke of him, I was having him over on a Friday to see if we were making any progress. I'm glad to say that a lot has improved and he's on his way towards a very successful life! Unfortunately, in the weeks since we started talking again, the dynamic of our relationship changed, and he was no longer sure he wanted to pursue anything with me. Honestly, with how often I changed my mind, I can't blame him for being wary of my emotions. We tried taking another break to let ourselves think, and basically we came up empty. We ended it, I'd like to think mutually. I presented the idea that even if we got back together things would be too different, and he agreed. We were sure we wouldn't be able to get back on the amazing path we'd cleared for ourselves. The pain of this realization is still pretty raw. He is, hands down, the most amazing boyfriend I've ever had. He genuinely loved and cared for me, and understood me on so many levels; I could always be myself around him without worry or care, and that is such a huge deal. I wish with all my heart that we could have made it work, but we are on different pages right now. Every so often I become heartsick thinking about how unfair it is that there is all this love and nowhere to put it. But that's that.
On to other slightly depressing news.... About five weeks ago, our site at Wells Fargo decided they needed to relieve themselves of a large number of people. My mother calls this a "reduction in forces." They gave us about two weeks notice, and they even gave us a very nice severance package. But the point is: I lost my job. First the Giant, now this. I was devastated, at my absolute lowest I've been in a long time. I was worried not only for myself, but for the married men and women who would have to go home and tell their husbands and wives; for the new mothers with a least one mouth to feed besides their own; for my best friend and her boyfriend who live together, worked together, and lost their jobs together. A lot of people tried to make me feel better by telling me it might turn out to be a blessing in disguise. This gave me hope, but it was hard to show it through the circumstances.
Fortunately, I was only out of work for few weeks. I now work for Chicago Title and I couldn't be happier. Yes, I loved my job at Wells Fargo, but there is a very distinct reason for this: the people I worked with. I was never a fan of the actual job. I don't like calling borrowers once or twice a week; I really wanted to get out of the customer service world. At CT, I am going to be a Closer/Funder. I will have to deal with loan officers and notaries, but I won't be dealing with many people outside of the industry. Even if they don't understand what my exact job function is, at least they know the basics and we aren't starting from scratch. Also, the people I work with are, so far, really awesome. I'm excited to work for them, and I'm looking forward to growing with the company and becoming a valuable asset.
This being said, the nanosecond I was able to stop looking for a job, I started looking for an apartment. And guess what? I move next weekend! I have very mixed feelings about this. I'm incredibly excited because the place is BEAUTIFUL, within my price range, and my future roommate seems like a sweetheart! My room has a private door leading to the balcony, and the balcony overlooks a gorgeous lake. There is even a beach! Future Roomie sent me a couple of pictures that she took, but I will put up more as soon as humanly possible. But even with all this happiness and the amazing promise of regaining my independence, I am still pretty sad about moving out of my parents' house. They are the best roommates a girl could ask for, and I am going to miss them terribly--even though I will only be a 20 minute drive north on 355!
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| The kitchen. |
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| The view from the balcony. |
"Don't be scared to walk alone, don't be scared to like it. There's no time that you must be home, so sleep where darkness falls. Dream your dreams, but don't pretend. Make friends with what you are. Give your heart, then change your mind; you're allowed to do it. God knows it's been done to you, and somehow you got through it."
"The Age of Worry" (Born and Raised)
