Ever since I re-entered the dating world (or, more accurately, stopped going back and forth with the Giant) I've begun to consider how much the dating scene has changed. I'm not even talking as far back as when my parents were dating, but as recently as when I was in high school. With the way our generation approaches dating these days, I have to wonder: what constitutes as a serious relationship?
(See what I did there? Totally Carrie Bradshaw.)
When my parents were dating (not necessarily each other), I think it's pretty safe to say that they would spend a lot of time talking, getting to know each other, in general just spending time with one another. It was this crazy-ass concept called "courting." To "court," as defined by Merriam-Webster, is "to seek the attention of; especially: to seek to win a pledge of marriage from," or, similarly, "to engage in social activities leading to engagement and marriage."
This to me sounds like the complete opposite of how we now approach dating. It sounds like men would keep it in their pants, and women would keep their shirts on, and instead the happy and fully clothed couple would go out to eat, or dancing, or share drinks with friends.
Of course I'm not saying that we don't do those things these days. Yes, yes of course we do. However, the order in which they occur is now reversed. I feel like it must have been easy (erm, easier) to define the seriousness of a relationship by how you felt about that person and how far you were willing to let that feeling take you. Less than 10 years ago, I feel like the bases were in order from 1 to 4; there was no stealing bases or jumping straight to fourth. That must have made it a lot easier to say, "Yes, we've gone that far because we care about each other, and now we're serious."
So what does it take now? Is it measured by the length of time you're in a relationship? If you've introduced one another to your parents yet? Is it once we drop the L-bomb?
With everything all... floopy (thanks Pheobe), and all these lines that are now blurred, how are we ever supposed to know when we're entering into a serious and lasting relationship?
I think it's pretty fitting that the only answer I can come up with (thanks to my parents for setting my moral compass on the straight and narrow) is to not allow yourself, or allow someone to pressure you, to go out of order. Once I'm ready for a relationship, I will only accept a man who is willing to take the time to court me, to get to know me, to love me for my mind and my own code of ethics. Some people might frown upon such snobbish behavior, but I don't suppose those are the men I want to be dating anyway.
