Playing Favorites

I'm sort of on this superhero kick, what with "The Avengers" in April, "The Amazing Spider-Man" a week ago, and the long-awaited end to arguably the best superhero trilogy of all time, "Batman: The Dark Knight Rises." The first movie was fantastic, the second was phenomenal, and the previews for the third make it look epic, so I am really excited. So excited, in fact, that back in April I put in a request for PTO for this Friday. That was four months ago.

Last night I was watching "Batman Begins," and I was thinking about how insanely cool Bruce Wayne is. But then it struck me how incredibly unfair it is to say that, because his situation is perfect. Bruce is a good guy, no doubt, but he also has a billion dollars, all the time in the world, and a deeply disturbing grip on revenge. This makes it effortless for Bruce to be Batman.

Ooh la la.

Now let's look at superhero Tony Stark. Forgetting the fact that he is the most beautiful man to ever put on an iron suit, take one off, walk the earth, etc etc, Tony Stark is your average guy whose "heart problems" make any woman weak in the knees with sympathy. As if his stunning good looks weren't enough.

Oh, wait, that's right. He also has a bajillionty million dollars, a very flexible schedule, and a level of intelligence on par with whatever Einstein + Da Vinci + Newton equals. And maybe throw in Aristotle and Mozart for good measure. Tony may not have lost his parents to a desperate thug, but he has a life-altering experience in the cave with Dr. Yinsen when he discovers that his weapons are being misused. So, while Iron Man may come out on top with the coolest looking gear, he's still just another billionaire driven by guilt to transform into a protector of the innocent. I'd really like for him to be my favorite, though, because he's rich, witty, and brilliant.

The other superhero I'm going to rule out, without much explanation, is Superman. He can do everything, and his only weakness is kryptonite from the planet Krypton, which is anywhere from 50 light years to 2.5 million light years from Earth. Either way, that's too far, and we can't get there. Superman is completely unfair and I'm done talking about him.

After considering all of this, last night I began a search for my favorite superhero. My first instinct was Captain America simply because of his humble origins. He's also stronger than Tony Stark and Batman if you rid the latter two of their suits. And, Captain America is just inherently good and proud of his country, and badly wants to fight for America and all it stands for. Then I noticed what this means: he is the exact same person from exposition to denouement. Unfortunately, his unwavering dedication to his "good guy" persona also makes him very boring to me. Correct me if I'm wrong, because it's a few months since I've seen the movie, but the only change Captain America undergoes is a physical one, from scrawny to buff. In addition to all that, I have no interest in 1940's America. American history isn't as interesting to me as maybe it should be.

What I do have an interest in is mythology, and watching Chris Hemsworth parade around acting like a self-absorbed god. While Thor's origins may not be quite as humble as I'd prefer, he is forced into humility by, get this: humiliation! Thor's arrogance earns him mortality, and a trip to Earth where he learns, albeit hilarious, smashing your cup and declaring "Another!" does not mean, "Wow, this beverage is delicious!" to your average bystander. Okay, he didn't actually learn an important lesson for this brutish behavior, but I like that part of the movie.

I would argue that Thor undergoes the biggest change as a character. He is completely stripped of power and betrayed by the closest person to him. It's a lot to juggle, even for a god, but I think Thor does a wonderful job in quickly realizing that there is more to being a king than fearlessness and outstanding battle tactics.

I would have liked to talk about more superheroes, but there are way too many. So I'll leave you with these charmers for now.