Last night I had the Giant over, like I always do on Wednesday nights. And last night we went to a movie, like we always do on Wednesday nights. (If we're not bowling, that is.) We saw "The Amazing Spider-Man," which....
Okay, sometimes I get writer's block, but that was just ridiculous. I can't finish the sentence because I'm having a really hard time deciding how I feel about the movie. I thought the action was great, and the dialogue was pretty good, and I even kinda liked Peter Parker better. To be clear, I've never been a Tobey Maguire fan. My dislike probably began with the stupid spelling of both his first and last name because it generates red squiggly lines that are annoying to look at and know that I can't fix it because it's not actually misspelled. Also, Andrew Garfield's costume was way sweeter.
I'll try to focus, I'm sorry. Sometimes it's difficult because my logic is so flawless it boggles my mind.
Anyway, I like the new Spider-Man movie, but I think I'm bothered for a lot of the same reasons the Giant talked about on the drive home.
Number one: It's way too soon to do a reboot. It's only been 10 years since the original Spider-Man movie, and it was AMAZING. Even the second one was good! But just because the last film of a three-part installment was an embarrassment to Marvel, doesn't mean it's time to burn the film reel and try again.
Number two: Poor Aunt May! Not only does Peter aid the circumstance of Uncle Ben's death, but he is completely out of sorts and MIA. During the climax of the action, Aunt May is sitting at home watching the news while Peter is swinging from annoyingly convenient construction cranes. Why doesn't she ever pick up the phone and try to call him? They're evacuating half the city and Peter is nowhere to be found! And why does she stop asking him why he always looks like he just fought a giant lizard?
Number three: Peter Parker is kind of a jerk. Not only is his character just arrogant in general (the f*** do you mean your powers don't scare you?!), but he completely disregards how his actions are affecting the people who care about him. Also, he fully intends to break a promise he made to a dying police officer who happens to be his girlfriend's father. I will admit that I liked his sense of humor, and I think Andrew Garfield did a good job acting, but I thought the character was just too cocky for someone who is supposed to be a photo-journalist geek.
Number four: I don't think I like the fact that Peter didn't inherit the ability to produce spider's web. He's got amazing reflexes, increased sensory abilities, and sticky hands. But no webbing? Cheap!
Number five: Uncle Ben, you totally did that to yourself. In "Spider-Man," Uncle Ben's death was clearly Peter's fault which created a heart-wrenching dynamic between Peter and Aunt May. In "The Amazing Spider-Man," Uncle Ben does something seemingly heroic but also undeniably stupid. I doubt Uncle Ben would have ended up in a pool of his own blood had he just put his hands up and backed away. So instead of guilt, we're left with revenge. Not that that's a bad thing. Revenge is a great motivational tool. It's just a difference in the story from the comic (which I never read but know enough about) that I don't really agree with.
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| Don't worry Spidey. This one isn't on you. |
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