Jigsaw Puzzles

“It was about as effective as repeatedly running into a brick wall to try and create a door.” -Jigsaw

Let's get something straight. Not all my past boyfriends have been a complete waste of my time. Take Jigsaw for example. While we did have our differences, he was, for all intents and purposes, a very good man, and worth a little recognition. So here it is, an article I meant to post a few months back, but completely forgot I had:

I remember one morning during my relationship with Jigsaw when I called him a bad boyfriend. He might have been displaying poor boyfriend qualities at the time, but calling him a bad boyfriend was a little dramatic. I was just being an emotional basketcase because we were talking about money again. Or, rather, I was borrowing money from him. Again.

I had plans to go out with my coworkers the next night and, being the kind man that he is, he offered to let me borrow his money so I wouldn’t have to stop at the ATM on my way to work in the morning. I didn’t even need the money, he was just making my life easier. So it could have been simple: I could have taken the money, kissed him on the cheek and said, “I’ll pay you back.” But instead I stood in the bedroom doorframe and bit my lip for a moment, trying to fight back the tears. I didn’t like talking about money, mainly because I was bad with it and found my terrible habits incredibly embarrassing. I’ve gotten much better over the years, but I've had to admit too many times to my parents that my credit card had reached the max limit. Of course I’d never offer this information freely, but they know I’m bad with money, so they’re inclined to check in on me every once in a while and ask what my bank account looks like.

I knew that if I didn’t get it together they were going to let me sink, and it would only be right. Honestly, I think I’m on the right path. Thankfully, my new job and this blog are keeping me afloat, because I’ve got plans, and I’d very much like to be able to afford to travel. It’s a travel blog, after all. Plus, I'm not only making money, but I'm learning things at Wells Fargo. For instance... did you know that keeping a balance on your credit card of more than 30% of your available funds (so if you have a $1,000 limit, we're talking $300), your credit score is negatively affected?

You're welcome.

At any rate, that afternoon Jigsaw was sitting on the bed, listening to me cry, trying to coax and calm me from afar. After three minutes of stifled sobbing and awkward buzzing around (I don’t know where it’s appropriate to stand when I’m in distress), I said to him, “Why aren’t you holding me? Get over here! You are such a bad boyfriend!” It was meant to be a joke, I meant to laugh when I said it because it’s so obviously not true. But it didn’t come out as intended; it sounded like I actually might have meant it! I said this to the man who waited patiently for a year and a half to date me; to the man who spread cream cheese on my bagel with the finesse of Duff Goldman frosting a cake because I’m incredibly picky; to the man who welcomed me into his life, his family, his home; to the man who would buy me video games because I mentioned in passing that I’d like to play them sometime. Do you see what I’m trying to say here? Jigsaw was anything but a bad boyfriend. He needed a little direction (of the "get over here and hold me" variety), but he was as good to me as he could have been.

And I remember back when I started dating Jigsaw, a friend of mine told me that I was overdue for some awesome. When I called things off with the Woman (the boyfriend before Jigsaw), my friend said to me, “Your next boyfriend is going to be amazing.” I asked how she figured that. She responded, “Think about your last couple boyfriends. There’s no way your next boyfriend is going to be a douche, too. Karma owes you.”