It just occurred to me that I'm eventually going to have to change the name of these blog posts to something a little more creative. What I'll probably end up with is, "The Stupid Shit That (insert news site [most likely "CNN"] here) Said This Week." For this week though, I'll just go with the same old, "What's the scoop?" with the assumed answer of "poop!"
I'm not sure if you guys heard, but it was really cold this past week. So cold, in fact, that it made the news almost every single day, and by the end of the week, CNN was telling people how dumb they are. (Which is ironic, considering how dumb the writers of CNN can be.) I guess I just find it hilarious that CNN used up space on their website to say, "Yes, it's pretty cold, and you're also pretty stupid."
I think the most frustrating part of this week were those really dumb people who believe that this polar vortex has disproved the theory of global warming. Which, really, how is this still considered a theory? To the point, three days of frigid cold is nothing compared to the string of sweltering hot temperatures we suffered through last summer for weeks on end. Whether or not you want to believe it, our climate is changing. It is a well-documented and heavily researched phenomenon spanning decades, and it will not be disputed and discounted by hordes of uneducated people who believe Neil/Lance Armstrong never landed on the moon. People must understand that "the occasional cold snap [...] doesn't change the overall trajectory of a warming planet. Weather is what happens in the atmosphere day to day; climate is how the atmosphere behaves over long periods of time."
Interestingly enough, TIME magazine actually believes the polar vortex might have helped prove the theory of global warming. They speculate, amongst lots of big meteorological words and other compelling arguments, that the changes in our climate made it possible for the polar vortex to travel far enough south to reach us. TIME does confess that this is a very new idea, and it will take a bit more research to prove this theory.
One last thing, and then I'll stop talking about the weather -- which is something we have somehow managed to move beyond the realm of "small talk," but just for this week.
Did you know that while we were freezing our asses off over here, some pretty serious happenings were taking place elsewhere? Take Australia, for example, where 100,000 bats fell straight out of the sky because of 110 degree temperatures. According to bat specialist Louise Saunders, bats cannot survive temperatures of more than 109 degrees. Between the two events, I'm glad I was in America and not Australia. Bats are adorable, and I have no interest in seeing that happen first-hand.
Fun fact: Did you know that only two percent of the entire world was affected by the polar vortex? Two! That's not a lot. For those of you who like visuals, here is a body builder with 2% body fat:
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| Okay, you caught me. This image clearly says 3-4%. I couldn't find exactly 2%. The point is, can YOU spot the fat? No? Yeah, me either. |
- Did you know that in some places you can be arrested for publicly insulting your nation's leader? This guy called the President of Zambia a sweet potato and was arrested the next day. Really, he could have said a lot worse than that.
- This guy stole a banana from a gas station. He also crashed his car into it. And then he left, apparently satisfied with his incredible theft.
- Man kills stepfather. You know, the regular way, by giving him an atomic wedgie.
- This article about the detrimental effects that lack of sleep can have on you does not fall under the category of "articles that made me giggle" this week. But it was very insightful and worth my time to read.
- Fashion editors are taking a step in the right direction and photoshopping meat onto the bones of dangerously skinny women. Then again, they wouldn't have to go through all that extra work if they'd just encourage their models to eat regularly.
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