Girls Only: Product Review (February)

First and foremost, before I get into the heart of the "Girls Only: Product Review," I just want to apologize to the ladies out there. It is quite possible in the last few months that without my guidance you've gone astray and purchased products that aren't worth your money. I can't reimburse you, but never fear! I'm back, and I'm here to tell you about two face washes that I aren't for me, and one that I love.

Since October, I've tried purchasing a few different face washes. The first was from Aveda, and on a recent trip to Ulta Salon, Cosmetics & Fragrance, Inc., I had a discussion with a Beauty Consultant who used to work at an Aveda salon. She agreed with me that Aveda’s hair care products are amazing, but the skin care is not worth the price. First of all, the name is ridiculously difficult to type: "botanical kinetics: purifying gel cleanser." Second of all, it smells like a wet twig, you know those ones that are green on the inside? But the truth of the matter is, it just doesn't do much for your face. I saw zero improvement as far as blackhead, pimple or redness reduction. Also, it's $20-40 depending on the size bottle you get.

The second product had much the same effect on my skin, which is to say my skin was exactly the same mess after the entire bottle was gone. "Yes to blueberries: Age Refresh, daily cleanser" came highly recommended by Beauty Consultant, so I was pretty disappointed that it wasn't worth its salt. Coming in at $18 per bottle (or you can order it online for as little as $10 for 4.5 fl oz.), it's a little less expensive, but it smells like pottery clay. What really bothered me is that it completely disappears once you start to work it into your skin, which gives you this overwhelming urge to use more just to make sure you're covering your entire face. The worst part is the rinse: it does not come off cleanly. You need to use a washcloth to remove it, and even after you do your skin still feels like it has a greasy film on it. The feeling does go away once you dry your face off, but I was pretty tempted to re-wash my face with a real cleanser.

Now I'm happy to announce that I have a found an awesome face wash that I will continue to buy! Not only is it super cheap, about $4.50 per 6 fl oz bottle, but it spreads well and you don't have to use very much. It's "Pond's: Luminous Clean, Cream Cleanser." I know it's superficial, but it has a very pretty metallic sheen because of the Kaolin Clay. The smell is fresh and perfumy, but light, and just overall pleasant. Most of all, it rinses off cleanly and I have seen a reduction in blackheads, pimples popping out of nowhere, and redness.

However, I feel like it does leave my face feeling particularly dry afterward, which brings me to that part of the Product Review where I give you a tip! (Also, it turns out that the dryness might be attributed to the Kaolin Clay, which you can read in this article from Truth In Skincare.)

Always moisturize your face after you wash it. To some of you this may seem obvious, and to others like myself, you may wonder, "They have moisturizer that goes on your face?" The answer is not just "yes," but the answer is, "Yes, and it's called 'Mary Kay: Timewise, age-fighting moisturizer.'" Do not skip this step. I have very oily skin, and I recently learned that the reason is because the glands in my face over-produce sebum. If I were to skip the moisturizer, my skin would kick in double-time to replace the sebum that was stripped during the recent cleanse, plus the fact that it's already overachieving.

I’ve been using Mary Kay’s product for two years, and I go hours and hours and hours before my face starts to look or feel greasy. Because I get bored quickly—even with tried and true products—I decided to try Aveda’s biokenetics moisturizer in September, and my face was shiny and felt suffocated in less than 2 hours. However, it got great reviews from a lot of people, so it may just be my specific skin type that it doesn’t work for? It works well for my feet, knees and elbows, though! But if you're going to buy a moisturizer for your face, it's going to be Mary Kay. I will never to stray from the brilliance of this moisturizer ever again!

All images not taken from my phone were found using Google's search engine.

In the Aftermath

Since the Giant and I split, I’ve taken the past three weeks to asses myself based not just on my relationship issues with him, but all of my failed relationships. Interestingly enough, I’ve come to find that my issue isn’t that I don’t know what I want, but that I don’t stand by those wants and communicate them to my partner. Instead I try to compromise and see if we can work together toward a common goal. Needless to say, it’s an unhealthy practice that inevitably leads to a broken and unsalvagable relationship.

I spoke with one of my coworkers who I’ll call Miss Love. She is 27 years old, has been with the same man for 6 years, and is happily engaged to be married this summer. Before her current boyfriend her dating history was a lot like mine, which is to say that neither of us has ever really been single. In talking to her about my predicament with the Giant, she told me it is very important to find out what I want in whatever way works from me, be it singledom or trial and error. The only thing that is important is to learn from my experiences and build a foundation of “makes and breaks.” If you have a clear understanding of what you want, you’re going to waste a lot less time. It seems obvious to say, but I have wasted so much time.

That being said, I have always had a very firm foundation of what is important to me. To name a few highlights: he must be independent, share a similar sense of humor, be fiscally responsible, share similar parenting views, and be kind, patient and tolerant. These things have always been on my list, but it wasn’t until the Giant that I realized that I need to be strong enough to express these things and stick by them. I kept putting myself into these unique situations, and through lack of experience I wouldn’t defend my knowledge of myself. For instance, let’s examine a “break” of mine, like “quick to anger.” I’ve always known I don’t want a man who is hot-headed, but because I’ve never experienced this first-hand, I might think to myself, “Maybe I can handle it.” For a while I’ll tolerate it and think, “Well, if I tell him I don’t like it he might stop.” But that’s really not something you can fix quickly, let alone fix it at all in some cases. You have to be willing to stick with this person and help them through it, and then it would no longer be categorized as one of your makes/breaks.

And don’t mistake “knowing what you want” with “picky” or “difficult to please.” Heaven forbid you have a clear definition of what you will NOT put up with, and which things you can be flexible about. Take for example a scenario Miss Love and I cooked up: there is a 35-year-old man with a daughter, and he lives at home with his mom. Most women, understandably, would run in the other direction. But what if that man is living at home to save money to send his daughter to college, and is waiting to move out for the right woman? To a lot of women, that might be a situation they’re willing to try and make work. Consider your limits and make a decision, but don’t treat it as a project. Feel free to support him, but don’t carry him.

In short, know what you want and be strong enough to say so. Do not compromise, and don’t let anyone—especially you—get in your way of finding the person who is right for you.

What is this, hide and seek?

Do you remember a few months ago when I mentioned that I'm really not much of a writer when I'm happy? (See: "Catching Up," which will direct you to "Burying the Past.") Well I guess I should throw in the towel because I can't write when I'm sad either. The last few months have been incredibly difficult for me in both my love life and at work, and I refused to find the time or motivation to put it into words.

Because it's the most difficult topic to talk about, I'll just say it and be done with it: I decided to end my relationship with the Giant. He is the most amazing boyfriend I've ever had, and the first boyfriend that my parents have liked since I was in high school. But there were a few essential things missing from the very beginning of our relationship that I thought we could eventually find or create. We both worked very hard to do so, the Giant most of all, but for whatever reason it just wasn't enough. This made me begin to wonder if maybe what's missing can't be found by two people working together, so I've started to put a lot of stock into that shitty little phrase, "Find yourself."

For those of you who know me or have read a single one of my blog posts, this will not come as a shocker: I've never been single. I've been chasing boys since I was old enough to understand that cooties are made up and that having butterflies in my stomach is weird but kinda fun. Now I think that the reason I can't find what I want with the Giant is because I have no idea what I want. I have no idea how to be happy with me.

So far (a whopping 32 hours), it's been pretty difficult to commence with the "finding myself" considering I'm burying myself beneath games on my android, Walmart $5-bin movies, and countless episodes of Castle. Maybe I'll stop hiding later when it doesn't hurt so badly. Or maybe it'll stop hurting so badly when I finally stop hiding and just let myself feel.

At any rate, the other reason I've been monstrously unhappy is because I was beginning to hate my job. For the first time ever, I woke up one day in January and thought, "I do not want to go to work." These words have never passed my lips on a Sunday night, nor have they crossed my mind on a Monday morning. At least, not in earnest. So for the past month I've been cheating on Wells Fargo with another bank (henceforth known as "Bank Name"), going to interviews and even going so far as to accept a new position. Except, when I went in to my boss's office to give him my letter of resignation he said, "Nope!"

Well, not really. He just asked why I was leaving and where I was going. When I told him Bank Name, he asked if I had some time that day to speak with a manager who'd left Bank Name to come to Wells. He had this manager call me on her day off to talk me about the differences between Bank Name and Wells. After hearing my issues with our site, he wanted to remind me that we are changing things up in a big way. The changes are very exciting and I could not be happier to be staying. It's not my place to share what's occurring, I think, until it's actually occurred so I'll just leave it there for now.

Considering the present circumstances, it's a crappy analogy but it's all I've got: Wells Fargo is my boyfriend. I never wanted to leave him, but I felt like it was my only choice. I'd been very unhappy for a few months and things weren't getting better. But then Wells Fargo decided to choose a different path toward making us an independent and self-sustaining site. This is all I've ever wanted from Wells. In August they removed "Interim" from our title, but there was still a lack of permanency that came with not being a Wells Fargo campus. It was a stroke of luck and good timing, but it's working out for me and Wells now.

I wish I could say the same for myself and the Giant. But maybe after I do my soul-searching, something good will happen. And if not, this is the first time I'll openly wish for an ex-boyfriend to find a happiness that surpasses the power of words.